It seems the more places I visit and the more people I meet, the more I have to miss. I believe that missing something in itself is a blessing, as it means you’ve had things, experiences or people in your life that were so valuable and precious that you ache in their absence.
There’s also the type of missing that’s more akin to missing out – missing out on birthdays, weddings, milestones, and even missing out on the ability to see someone you want to the following day. That feeling can be, at times, almost paralysing. It’s part of the reason I removed almost everyone on my facebook from my newsfeed – I was spending too much of my life away from home trying to keep up. I’m determined not to do that on this trip, especially as I’m planning to spend the New Zealand summer, this year, at home.
I’m not sure how much I want this website to cross over into my personal life, as I do believe aspects of it are… personal. But transparency is interesting, and I’m sure romance on the road is something that other people might be curious about, especially those contemplating long term travel. Prior to this visit home, I listed one of the downsides of perpetual travel as basically giving up on any hope of being in a relationship within the next few years. But then I met someone who’s, in summary, the epitome of badass and I’m a bit more open to things, in the future – read: I want to rearrange the universe so this can be something, someday soon. My plans were interrupted, partially due to be taken back by the feelings that developed. But I have managed to push my planets back into alignment and tomorrow I’m boarding a flight to Sydney.
It’s much easier to use heartache or a bad job as a motivating catalyst to up and leave when you’re not happy somewhere. I first left New Zealand in a bid to explore more of the world and mend a broken heart. Nobody mentions how hard it is to leave when you’re happy, when you’re fully content with life. I guess it’s easier if you can take what you adore with you.
How do you push yourself over the “to go traveling” edge, when all you really desire is right at home?
Well, I write lists. Lists of all the things I want to do over the European summer that I couldn’t do in New Zealand.
Starting with hugging one of my best friends, Rob, at Sydney airport tomorrow
Walking around National park with aforementioned friend
Trying to survive on AUD$150 for five days in Sydney
Wandering around Hong Kong for two days next week (suggestions welcomed)
Catchups with lovely English friends in London next weekend
Nine days to make my way from London to Madrid via awesome places (suggestions welcomed, again)
Learning Spanish to a conversational level
Eating All The Tapas
Finding my groove in Madrid
Making authentic Spanish friends
Finding a nudist beach in Spain and getting my first tanline-less tan
Attending Tomatina festival
Watching a Madrid v Barcelona football match
Exploring Croatia, Slovenia and Italy (finally)
Although I feel a bit weird about leaving right now, I think it’s going to pan out to be one of the most amazing summers of my life. I’m also really looking forward to coming back to New Zealand for the summer, too. Two summers in a row – absolutely spoiled.
I’m going to try my hardest not to worry about missing and missing out. Because if my attention is too focused on what I don’t have, I’ll end up letting all that I do have slip by.
