I don’t even remember what I was doing right before. Probably cleaning something halfway, then getting distracted, then starting something else. That’s usually how my days go.
It wasn’t a bad day or anything. Just busy in that normal way where you don’t really stop. By the afternoon I had that feeling I get sometimes where everything starts to feel a bit loud. Not actual noise, just… everything needing something at once.
I was in the kitchen, looking around, knowing I should probably just get on with it, but also not really having the energy to start anything properly.
So I stepped outside for a minute. I do that sometimes when it feels like a bit much inside.
We’ve had a hammock out there for a while now, and honestly, I don’t use it as much as I thought I would. It’s one of those things that sounds like a nice idea. In my head, I’m the kind of person who sits in a hammock with a drink and enjoys the quiet. In reality, I’m usually just passing by it on the way to do something else.
I nearly did that again. Walked past, glanced at it, and kept going. Then I stopped and went back, which I don’t usually do unless I really can’t be bothered with whatever I was about to do next.
I told myself I’d just sit for a second.
The Part Where I Nearly Got Back Up
And straight away, that little voice started up. The one that reminds you of everything you haven’t done yet. It’s so quick as well, like it’s been waiting.
Washing. Dinner. Messages. Something about the kids’ school I’d forgotten.
I actually leaned forward like I was about to stand up again. I do that a lot. Sit down, then immediately feel like I shouldn’t be there.
But I stayed.
Not in a calm, “I deserve this break” kind of way. More like… I just didn’t have it in me to get up again right then.
At first, I was still thinking about everything. It didn’t magically go quiet. But after a minute or two, it felt a bit less intense.
I noticed I’d been tense all day. Like properly holding myself tight without realising. My shoulders dropped a bit, and I stopped doing that thing where you’re already thinking ahead to the next three tasks.
The hammock sort of forces you to sit properly. You can’t perch on it while mentally organising your life. You either sit there or you get off.
I don’t think I was there long. Definitely not as long as I could have been. But it was enough.
When I got up, everything was still exactly the same. Nothing had been magically sorted. The kitchen was still waiting, the kids still needed things, dinner still wasn’t planned.
But I didn’t feel as irritated by it all.
I went back in and just… carried on. A bit slower maybe. A bit less snappy.
I didn’t think much of it after that, but the next day I found myself thinking about it again. Just a quick thought like, that actually helped more than I expected.
So now I do it now and then. Not in a routine way. Just when I feel that same kind of build-up starting.
Sometimes it’s literally two minutes before someone comes looking for me. Sometimes the kids climb in and it turns into a whole thing, which is not relaxing at all but still nicer than rushing around.
I still get that feeling that I should be doing something else. I don’t think that ever fully goes away.
But I don’t listen to it as quickly as I used to.
I think before, I always felt like I had to finish everything before I could sit down properly. And since everything is never actually finished, it just meant I didn’t really stop.
Now it’s more like I take a minute when I need it, even if everything else is still waiting.
That hammock ended up being more useful than I thought. Not because it’s anything special, but because it gave me somewhere to actually pause without overthinking it.
And those few minutes don’t feel like much, but they do make the rest of the day feel a bit easier to get through.
Which, honestly, is all I really need most days.
